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Author: Nummie


Nummie Gigglepie drifted around Stormwind listlessly. Something was different, missing, ever since she submitted to that ridiculous failed experiment by that idiot Thunk Rinklewrench. He'd said the transfer to a parallel universe had worked, in a way, that some part of her basic essence had moved to the world he'd labeled "TB" from theirs, the one he called "KT".

Nummie was personally of the opinion that Thunk Rinklewrench was full of gears.

And yet, these days, there was just something...missing...

"Hey!" Nummie snarled as she was jostled by a hurried passer-by laden with bags. "You will know the meaning of...um...you know what? Just watch it!" She couldn't even manage the energy to describe how she'd eventually enslave the girl as well as all Azeroth. She did, however, swing a halfhearted kick at one of the more fragile-looking bags the girl carried.

"Oh! Sorry!" The young human simpered. "Aren't you just ADORABLE!"

Nummie's wide blue eyes filled with clouds of Doom. "I am not ADORABLE. I am FILLED with MALEVOLENCE and EVIL."

The girl giggled and went on, unnoticing. "I'm on my way to the World Transporter that The Amazing Doctor Rinklewrench set up in the Park!"

Nummie's eye twitched as she listened to the girl. "The Amazing...DOCTOR...World Transporter??!"

"YOU!" Nummie bellowed moments later, pointing from the gathered crowd up to a dias that had been hastily erected in Stormwind's Park district, hung with banners proclaiming that it was the one and only site of "The Amazing Doctor Rinklewrenches Astounding World Transporter! Now with Less Death!"

In smaller print at the bottom of the banner, it read "25g absolutely no refunds in case of horrible implosion."

Thunk cringed at the sound of Nummie's voice, scrambling behind the machine itself for protection.

"Is THIS what my gold has been funding? This...this...SIDESHOW?!" Nummie screeched, pulling him out of hiding by his goggles which she then let go of, snapping them back in his face.

"Miss Gigglepie! I...uh...was about to contact you! Your generous investment finally paid off and I perfected the process! I can now transport people wholly to parallel worlds! And to think...they said I was mad...MAD..." Thunk said, his eyes glazing over.

"Thunk!" Nummie said, slapping him across the face sharply. "FOCUS. When you did the process last time it didn't WORK. How do you know it does now?"

"Well..." Thunk blinked owlishly behind his goggles, his hair standing out at odd angles. "The people disappear? And don't come back?"

Nummie blinked at him. He blinked back. The crowd below blinked at one another.

"You IDIOT!" Nummie exploded. "That doesn't prove ANYTHING! For all you know you're sending people into the Twisting Nether!!"

After a few nervous glances the crowd at the foot of the dias started to dissipate somewhat.

"It's all very, um, scientific, with...measurements and...calibrations..." Thunk mumbled nervously. "Far too complicated for a layperson to understand!"

Nummie grabbed Thunk by the front of his tunic, pulling him close to her narrowed eyes, her pink ponytails nearly standing out from her head in fury. "Then I guess you'd better start explaining..."

Some time later the eager world transporters who had been lined up had long since drifted off due to boredom, this being Stormwind and all where there was always the possibility that there was a drunken naked duel going on somewhere nearby.

"And then if you measure the EXPONENTIAL quadrant of the pentagram, allowing for the pi radius of the dimension's radical properties to--"

Nummie's head lolled back as she snored softly, leaned against the machine, but suddenly snapped up with a delicate "Snrt!" sound.

"Fine...FINE! Use it on me! Send me to the TB world!" She said, throwing up her hands in surrender. At this point it didn't really matter anymore. If she ended up with her bones on the outside of her body in the middle of the Outland it would be a welcome change from just drifting, hurting, missing...him.

Missing KILLING him, that is, she thought hastily.

"Of course!" Thunk said brightly. "That will be twenty five...uh..." Under Nummie's withering glare he waved his hands hastily. "I mean, completely free, seeing as how your generous donations funded this entire, uh, project!"

Nummie sat in the center of the transporter and waited...and waited...and waaaaaited...as Thunk fiddled with levers and buttons and gizmos, consulting a complicated chart with measurements and diagrams of hundreds of different points, each with it's own set of coordinates and notes. After a time she started to drift off to sleep again...dreaming of a Gnome with lightning blue hair...

There was a FLASH! A wrenching feeling. Nummie opened her eyes to see the familiar surroundings of Stormwind Park. She started to scowl and looked around for Thunk...

There was no sign of him, or the dias. She heard giggling and splashing nearby...an Elf frolicking with two human women in the Moonwell. She dashed over and pulled the Elf up by one ear.

"Ow ow OW OW!" The Elf shouted.

"You! Idiot horny elf! Who am I?" Nummie demanded imperiously.

The Elf blinked at her. "I have no idea...?"

"Excelleeennt..." Nummie hissed, dropping him back into the water. She already felt stronger, more renewed in spirit, more filled with purpose. "This world will come to FEAR the WRATH of NUMMIE GIGGLEPIE! RUINER of WORLDS!!"

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