Eyes on Darnassus
The Lidless Eye has faced many a terrible foe in their day. From false warchiefs, to members of a strict religious cult, even a few dragons. However, this morning provides their greatest struggle of all. Several members are sitting around in the great hall a few hours since daybreak. A human rogue cannot be seen as he creeps around the walls in the former chapel. He is headed towards the stage at the front of the hall where the Lord Sauron Barrowwight is currently sitting, tossing peanuts into his mouth. The rogue inches closer and closer until...
"Ah crapsticks, I have to change my pants now. How did you find me?"
"You have your ninja tricks, and I have my pirate tricks." The human rogue was simply Gazz in a human costume, same as Ashenone, who was in a pirate costume.
"We need to find a new game to play, were getting pretty good at Kill The Boss, one of these days we might actually do it." Gazz told the tauren.
Barrowwight turned around in his large chair and said, "I can ssstill hear you guysss. Not a good idea to make assssssassssssination plansss behind my back, literally."
"Sorry, but were bored; and cover your mouth if youre going to use words like that", the undead rogue commented.
"Yeah. Rioco, Bluebelle and Rarawyn are in the corner looking at their new clothes from this mornings shopping excursion. Horrorwar and Cretila are teaching Steg to head bang; they're getting some goblin metal station on their CB's. The rest of the members are either asleep, or out building their skills. We asked them if they wanted help, and they said they were fine."
"Hmm. Eyesss, gather 'round." He motioned for his guild to sit in the benches in front of him. "We're going to go sssomewhere. Who wantsss to do what?"
Togg spoke up first, "Can we go to Gnomeregan? The gnome supply downstairs is starting to turn; they won't punt as far."
"Absssolutely not. You will ussse up the gnomesss you have before you bring more in here."
"What about Stratholme? Can we go see if there's anything of use in there, asked Onos.
"Id rather not; we all remember the lassst time Gazz went to Ssstratholme."
Happily, Rioco shouted, "Can we go to Stormwind? I hear they have the prettiest dresses there." The Eyes all turned around with eyebrows raised and questionable looks on their face. "Or not, it was just a suggestion."
"Asss bad asss the sssugessstion wasss, it doesss give me an idea."
"Do it involve wearing a surgical mask durin' ya speeches?" laughed Wroth.
"No, and you get to sssit in the front from now on. Let me asssk you Eyesss, who isss our number one enemy?" he said as he raised a single finger high in the air.
"The people who raise prices on items that we need every day for their own greedy profit?"
"Bunny rabbits?" asked Rarawyn.
"Plaque?" suggested Bogorne.
"A duck!" said Steg'mite.
"What?" asked Barrow.
"I sorry, I mean; What is a duck?"
Barrowwights arm flopped down to the side of his body in disappointment. "No! The Alliance is our number one enemy," a few sighs of discovery were heard emanating from the audience, "and we're going to take the fight to them! Where should we attack? Stormwind, Ironforge, Darnassus, Gnomeregan, or that freaky alien space ship?"
"Not Stormwind, their sewers are in the middle of town and it always smells in there. Those humans need to learn sanitation," said Grashagul.
"Definitely not Ironforge, it's too hot in there. You won't be able to get five feet without needing to stop and take a drink. Not to mention it reeks of Dwarf in there," said Grobb.
"Theres no point in sacking Gnomeregan; the troggs still own that joint," said Fjolmir. Steg'mite turned around in his seat, pointed and laughed at the gnome tied up on the tee in the aisle. The little thing said something in retribution, but no one can ever understand them.
"What about the Draenei ssship?"
"I take dis one chicka down ta Booty Bay fa one o' dem goblin movie tings. De story be 'bout a spaceship full o' little alien dudes wit acid blood. No way mon, me not goin dere." protested Steg'mite.
"How did it end?" asked Zerathustra.
"Hell if I know. Dey don' call it Booty Bay fa not'ing." Steg replied, getting props from the guys around him.
"Well, that leavesss usss with Darnassssssusss."
"Ah nasty." Wroth said, wiping his clothes dry with a towel.
"What's a Darnassus?" asked Pravda.
"The night elf capitol city. The huge tree-isssland north wessst of Kalimdor. How do you not know thisss?"
Pravda shrugged and said, "I dunno, neva needed ta be dere."
The Lord Sauron jumped onto the rail of the stage and yelled "Letsss go kill sssome elvesss!" in an attempt to get his warriors pumped up.
"Eh, sure why not."
"I aint gots noting betta ta do."
"Will there be pie?"
The Eyes grabbed their gear and mounted up for the long trip across The Great Sea to Orgrimmar. The ship was only occupied by the Eyes, so they stored their gear and mounts below deck. For at least two hours, Ashenone and Gazz played sky pirates, pretending to row the ship through the air. Most of the guild slept in the crisp night air. Poor Bogorne, the dancing bear, fell asleep in his bear form and now has a pile of bodies on his warm hide. While some rested, others took advantage of the time. Cretila climbed up to the top of the air bag and jumped around until he almost fell, and then wisely came back down. Grobb, Bluebelle and Stegmite made a bunch of bombs for the island nation Kul Tiras. When they soared overhead, the bombs were dropped on the puny humans with great joy and large explosions.
Early the next morning they were approaching the shores of Durotar. The zeppelin came to a halt next to the tower and the Eyes unloaded their belongings. The party left the tower and rode towards the gates of Orgrimmar, for many, this was the first time in months they had seen their homes. They were given two hours to explore Orgrimmar before they were leaving. The Barrens can get nasty hot in the middle of the day, and believe it or not; undead cannot tan. They walked through the gates and collected what they needed within the two-hour limit. Once assembled outside the gates they traveled south towards Razor Hill, then west to the Barrens.
The Lord Sauron was leading the group when he brought his horse to a screeching halt. "Who sssaid that?" The rest of the guild grabbed the reigns of their mounts and avoided a massive pileup. "Who sssaid that?" he repeated. No one answered as they readjusted themselves and got back into formation.
"Are you ok boss?" asked Fjolmir.
"I could have sssworn I heard sssomeone sssay sssomething way out of line."
"What did who say?"
"I dont want to repeat it." With that, he edged his mount forward and the party began their journey again. They had crossed the river in between Durotar and the Barrens when Barrow turned to Fjolmir with his boney finger to his lack-of lips. From the rear of the party, he could hear a chorus of whispers, yet he could never pinpoint them.
"If you tell me to ask if we're there yet one more time, I'm going to skin you alive." That was not so hard to pinpoint, it was Rarawyn, and it appears she was talking to Darkhope behind her.
"I knew I heard sssomething along thossse linesss. Who ssstarted that?" Everyone in the rear of the platoon pointed at Steg'mite at the same time.
"Trait'as" was the only remark he made.
They passed through the Mor'shan Rampart into Ashenvale shortly before high noon. The massive trees helped the beating sun from making this trip hard. Knowing that there was an elf sentry post ahead, they cut through the Warsong Lumber Camp to get to the main road.
"Huntersss, I want you up front leading. We can't take the main road becaussse of elf patrolsss. We're going up to the outpossst in Felwood, and ressst there." The trackers did their job and took the party to the small outpost on the very western tip of Felwood without as much as a bird seeing them. "We leave all mountsss and petsss here," Barrow said upon arrival to the outpost, "we can't take any chance of a distraction out of our hands."
"Now what are we going to do Boss?"
"We're going to go ssswimming." He said with a hearty laugh. "All of you armor wearersss will have to think of a way to get it down the fallsss without losssing it. You'll drown if you try to ssswim with all of that on."
Ashenone, the massive tauren warrior was running down the side of the falls and pulling his armor off at the same time. Before jumping off the edge, he chucked it over the falls and pulled his legs in for a cannonball. His armor landed in the soft mud at the bank of the river and he touched the water with a splash that reached fifty feet. The other warriors saw this and joined in the fun, doing an assortment of tricks off the edge of the falls. Finally, the mages were the only ones left at the top of the falls. Barrow looked at Alabator and they started running off the edge, then they cast their slow fall spell and coasted down into the grass with ease. The rest of the guild was wet and some of their armor was slightly nicked, they did not appreciate the fact that those two got off so easily. Bogorne and Ashenone picked the two undead mages up and threw them back into the river, making sure everyone got equal treatment.
They had entered the land known as Darkshore, it is mostly dense woodland but very dangerous as it is a hub of Night Elf activity. They were currently far south of the main town of Auberdine, wading through the river, making sure the road was clear before crossing. They followed the river west until they came to the coast, and stopped to perfect a plan.
"No way, no how" shouted Bogorne.
"Quiet, theyll hear you down here" hushed Barrowwight.
"I'm no mere distraction, I'm a druid of the highest prestige, and you want me doing parlor tricks." Bogorne crossed his arms and turned his back on the Lord Sauron.
"Alright, since Flipper doesn't want to play in the water, we'll do it the hard way." Barrowwight walked down towards the water and pulled out a telescope. He examined the docks of the small town while the ferry service from the Wetlands arrived. Once the boat had docked, the guards would walk on board and check the boat for stragglers. He put his scope away and walked back to the group, planning the hijack. "What were going to do isss ssswim around the pier and wait on that sssmall isssland with the tower until the ferry comesss back. Those boatsss work by goblin machinery, ssso there'sss no pilot. Our only issssssue might be elvesss onboard the ssship back. If that'sss the cassse, we sssimply eliminate them."
The group stayed far from the docks as they swam around, near the small island north of the docks. They had to tread water for a few minutes until they saw the ferry come back. In a very hushed voice, Barrowwight told the group "Asss sssoon asss the guardsss are on the ssship, we advance." The two guards walked onto the vessel, and the party swam next to the sides. Gazz climbed onto Ashenones shoulders, and Safya climbed onto Grobbs and they pulled themselves onto the ship. The two rogues snuck through the cabins looking for the guards, they found them on the top deck resetting the course. Each grabbed their target and silently opened their necks, laying the bodies on the deck to prevent the faintest thud. Then the two walked to the side with the rest of the party and dropped some ropes over the edge. The group began to climb up the ropes and sides, like skilled pirates commandeering a juggernaut.
Settled on the ferry to the tree island, they dumped the bodies of the guards far off the coast and waited on the long trip. It is not as long as the airship ride, but it was a slow ship in rough waters, which made getting comfortable next to impossible. Barrowwight explained the next phase of the plan; they would jump from the ship prior to it docking at its next destination. Guards were sure to be there and they would be the best ones, since it is so close to the capitol. Off in the distance, they spotted land and the group prepared to go swimming once again. By this time the sun was about to set, which may prove to be an unwise decision.
As the boat pulled closer to the island, the Eyes jumped from the ship and swam west along the coast. The entrance to Darnassus was inside of a small fishing village, there was a portal at the very top of the hill, which took you straight to the city. The group made camp next to a tall waterfall far from the sight of the Elves. As long as they did not patrol the beaches, they would be safe. Orc and Troll night-vision is not quite as good as Elf vision, but it is better than Tauren and Undead, therefore Togg and Stegmite were appointed the night watch. While the group made camp, the two hunters climbed up the side of the island and settled themselves on a strong branch out of sight of any patrols.
Night came and left without incident, and the sunrise woke the horde from their slumber. They quickly disposed of the evidence of their presence and prepared to sack the capitol. Peering around a corner, Barrowwight studied the guards and turned to face his guild. "There'sss no easssy way to do thisss, we will have to engage in open combat other than complete ssstealth. Gazz and Sssafya, you will ssstealth to the very top of the hill and wait for my sssignal, go now. Togg, I want you to take out the hippogryph massster asss sssoon asss possible, again on my sssignal. The rest of you will charge out and take any that resssissst. Fjolmir, get into the guard'sss mind by the docksss and have him throw his weapons into the water."
The two rogues made their way near the portal, and stood behind the two guards. Fjolmir held his head and began to chant, his vision swirled in and out of the eyes of the guard. He connected with it, walked the guard to the water, and threw her weapons into the sea. At that second, Gazz and Safya broke their stealth and slit the guards throats at the very top of the hill. The flight master saw the two guards fall and pulled a hippogryph from its roost, only to find an arrow exit through his chest. The rest of the guild charged from around the corner and ran to the middle of the small village. Guards and civilians backed up and either disarmed themselves or prayed to their gods. They removed the armor and weaponry of the Elves, and then tied them up inside a small hut. The guild stood feet from the portal to the capitol, poised and ready to attack. Barrowwight called the charge and through they went. They experienced a brief falling sensation and appeared inside the city.
"We have company! Someone tell the elders!" shouted a guard. Onos ran up to the guard to slay her, but she dropped her weapon and with a big smile hugged the warrior. "Welcome to Darnassus" she cried. Soon, many Elves began to run towards the stunned group of Horde. Barrowwights jaw dropped, literally, out of shock. The Elves brought baskets of fruits and breads decorated with a wide assortment of flowers.
"Welcome to my home, friends!" Two Elves walked across a bridge, past Onos who was still standing in shock, being hugged by the guard. "My name is Fandral Staghelm, and this is Priestess Tyrande. We get very few visitors here, what brings you to our city?"
"Uu uh guh" stuttered Barrowwight.
"Pa'don 'im, we 'eard dis be de vacation spot, an' t'ought we'd relax after a big big war against de demons." Steg'mite chirped in as Barrow took his jaw back from a smiling, purple haired guard and put it back on his skull.
"I don't believe it." Staghelm glared at Steg'mite, and the Troll began to inch for his axes. "Why on earth are our guests dressed in such attire? Look, they are still dripping with blood from their battles. You, go get some fresh robes and slippers for them." Staghelm looked at the Tauren in the audience and added, "Grab some bed sheets and rope too." The servants rushed off into the heart of the city as more guards and citizens came to the portal area to observe the strangers. "Follow me, friends."
The male Elf motioned for the party and walked back into the town. Onos was carried along by his new friend, and each Eye was soon accompanied by an Elf. They crossed the bridge and stood next to a large tree that had been carved into the shape of a bear. The servants came back with arms full of silk robes, and passed them out to the Eyes with a scary amount of glee.
"Please, get comfortable." Fandral walked over to Rarawyn, and she giggled like a schoolgirl when he smiled and handed her a robe. Some of the Eyes were hesitant about removing their arms and armor, and others like Gazz were out of their armor and into an Elven robe in seconds. An Elf guard attempted to help Horrorwar take his helmet off, but she was pushed away by Rioco who looked a bit greener than the average Undead. Most of the Eyes, however, put their armor inside their bags yet left their weapons on their sides.
"I will personally show you the grand tour of the city." Priestess Tyrande announced. "Over here is our bank, it is set deep within the remarkably carved tree. Off in the distance is the Temple of Elune, I'm sorry but only priests and priestesses are allowed inside." The large group walked through the city, with the priestess pointing out items of intrigue. The civilians would peek at them with curiosity, some would run up and offer gifts, and others would be more affectionate and hug the visitors.
As they arrived in the Cenarion section of the city, Barrow took a quick headcount. "Hang on a sssecond; we're missssssing two of our group." He looked around and spotted the two dancing around the pillars with a few Elves around them. He stormed through the city and when he got close, he saw that it was Cretila and Steg'mite. Cretila was wearing a pair of fake Elf ears on his head, a shirt that said 'Naga Stole My Well', and carrying around a doll. Steg'mite had a purple wig on, a shirt with 'I Heart Elves' painted across it with lip prints, and carrying a box. "What the hell are you guysss doing, and why are you playing with dollsss?" he barked.
"Its not a doll" Cretila replied "It's an action figure of Cenarius. Check this out!" He pushed down one of the antlers and the toy said 'Only you can prevent forest fires'.
"And this is the Collectors Edition Azshara bobble-head set; it comes with her Elf and Naga form." Steg'mite held up the box and shook it around, watching the heads bob up and down.
"Take that crap off," yelled Barrowwight as he swiped the wig and ears from the two. "Were leaving, now." He then stormed off in the direction of the group in the Cenarion sector. One of the lady Elves handed Steg'mite a sheet of paper and blushed as the two put their toys and shirts in a bag and walked away.
"What's that?" Cretila asked Steg'mite as they walked towards the portal.
"Her communicator channel number, she wants to see the world." he replied.
"Well Im sure you'll show her Booty Bay, just watch for the Gaping Chasm, and hope she hasn't seen Silithus." The two laughed as Barrowwight threw them through his portal to the Undercity.